Somewhere along the way, society decided that a fit woman should have toned arms, a small waist, a thigh gap, and a flat stomach. And these days? Maybe even a six-pack. We’ve been shown this image of the “perfect body” so many times that it’s easy to start believing that this is what healthy looks like. We scroll through social media, compare ourselves to women we’ve never met, and find ourselves wishing we looked a little more like them.
But what if we’ve been measuring fitness all wrong? What if the body you’ve been working so hard to change isn’t the problem? What if the idea that you need to look a certain way to be considered fit is the real problem? It’s time we talked about the difference between looking fit and actually being fit.
The Difference Between Looking Fit and Being Fit
Let’s imagine two women walking into a gym. One has visible abs, defined muscles, and the kind of physique society has taught us to call “fit.” The other has softer curves, a little extra weight around her middle, and a body that doesn’t fit the typical fitness aesthetic. Which is more fit?
First off, what does it actually mean to be fit? According to the Webster dictionary, one definition of fit is “sound physically and mentally: healthy.” Hmmm… nothing about a flat stomach, toned arms, or a particular body size.
So, which of these two women is stronger? Which has better endurance? Which can hold a plank longer, carry a heavy bag up the stairs without getting breathless, or move through a challenging Pilates class with control? You can’t know just by looking at them. The woman with softer curves might surprise you with her strength, stamina, balance, and resilience. She might outperform someone who looks visibly muscular. And the woman with defined abs might be incredibly strong, too. The point is that neither woman’s appearance tells you the whole story.
Muscle definition doesn’t automatically mean better cardiovascular health. A smaller body doesn’t automatically mean greater endurance. A particular weight doesn’t tell you how well you sleep, how well nourished you are, how strong your bones are, or how supported you feel in your everyday life. Fitness is so much more than what can be seen in a mirror. It’s how you move, the strength you build over time, your mobility, your balance, your energy, and your ability to move through life. So much of that is invisible.
The Conversation We Have With Ourselves in the Mirror
“I hate this belly fat. Why won’t it come off?”
“I’m so disgusting. If only I had more discipline.”
“Look at her arms. They’re so defined. I wish mine looked like that.”
Maybe you can relate to some of these thoughts. We can be so incredibly hard on ourselves, can’t we? We look at our bodies and immediately notice what we want to change. We compare our stomachs to someone else’s, our arms to someone else’s, our thighs to someone else’s. We find ourselves measuring our worth against a stranger’s highlight reel, forgetting that we have no idea what her life looks like beyond that one image.
And somehow, we convince ourselves that if we could just lose a little more weight, tone up a little more, or finally get that flat stomach, we’d feel better about ourselves. But what happens when we reach that goal and find another thing to fix? What happens when the goalposts keep moving, and we’re so busy trying to become a different version of ourselves that we forget to appreciate the woman we already are? We don’t want fitness to feel like that. We don’t want movement to become another reason to criticize yourself. We don’t want you to walk into a studio feeling like your body is something you need to apologise for, or leave a class feeling like you’ve failed because your reflection hasn’t changed. You deserve a relationship with fitness that gives you more than that, and it starts with changing the way we define progress.
What If We Measured Fitness Differently?
What if, instead of measuring your progress by the number on the scale, you started paying attention to what your body can actually do? What if being fit meant having enough energy to get through your day without feeling completely drained? What if it meant sleeping well at night, going for a walk and enjoying it without feeling fatigued, or carrying your children without getting exhausted? What if it meant bringing all the groceries into the house in one trip, feeling stronger as you move through everyday life, or completing a challenging Pilates or barre class and walking out feeling empowered?
These things might not show up in a before-and-after photo. They might not earn you compliments on social media. But they really matter! These are real signs of progress. They are things worth celebrating! Fitness isn’t just about what your body looks like when you’re standing in front of a mirror, it’s about how you feel, how you move, how you recover, and how well you’re able to enjoy your life. It’s about building strength that supports your life outside the studio, too. Sometimes, the biggest achievement isn’t changing the way your body looks. It’s realizing how much your body is already capable of. Your progress doesn’t have to be visible to be meaningful.
Taking Care of Yourself Should Feel Like Love, Not Punishment
Looking after yourself is about so much more than exercise or the way you eat. It’s taking time to rest when you need it. It’s getting enough sleep. It’s talking to yourself kindly, even on the days when you don’t feel your best. It’s nourishing your body with your health in mind while also giving yourself grace. It’s making time for the people who make you feel loved and supported. It’s keeping friendships that lift you up, moving your body regularly, and making space for the things that bring you joy. It’s remembering that you are a whole person, not just a body to maintain or improve.
Movement is a wonderful part of taking care of yourself. Pilates and barre can help you build strength, balance, coordination, and muscular endurance. They can challenge you, ground you, and give you time to focus on yourself. But we hope you never feel that you have to come to class to make up for what you ate, burn off a meal, or punish yourself for the way your body looks. We hope you come because you want to feel stronger, you enjoy moving and taking an hour for yourself makes you feel good. We hope you understand that rest is productive, too, and eating good food isn’t something you need to earn.
Every Body Is a Swimsuit Body. Every Body Belongs Here.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Swimsuit body? Every body is a swimsuit body.” Isn’t that lovely and so true? Why should we have to reach a certain size before we feel comfortable wearing a swimsuit? Why should we need to look a particular way before we feel deserving of confidence, happiness, or a place in a fitness studio? Every body is worthy of feeling good. Every woman, in every shape and size, deserves the opportunity to move her body, care for herself, and discover what she’s capable of.
If you’ve ever felt nervous about walking into a Pilates or barre class because you don’t look like the women you see online, we want you to know something. You don’t need to lose weight before you join us. You don’t need toned arms, a flat stomach, or visible abs. You don’t need to prove that you’re fit enough to be here. You simply need to show up as you are.
At Redlands Barre, we want you to feel welcome, supported, and free to focus on yourself. All judgement and shame are left at the door. This is your time to move, breathe, build strength, and do something wonderful for yourself. You belong here today. Not after you’ve changed your body. Not after you’ve reached a particular goal. Today.
Please Stop Comparing Your Journey to Someone Else’s
One of the hardest things about living in a world full of carefully selected images is that we often compare our entire lives to a tiny glimpse of someone else’s. We see her defined arms. Her flat stomach. Her strong legs. And we immediately start thinking about what we don’t have. But we don’t know her journey, her circumstances, her struggles, her genetics, her health, or what it took for her to look the way she does.
And your body has its own story too. Your health, your goals, your abilities, and your needs are unique to you. Comparing yourself to someone else based on what you can see is an unfair way to judge yourself. You might be making wonderful progress that has nothing to do with your appearance. You might be getting stronger, sleeping better, feeling more energetic, or finding a healthier relationship with movement. You might be learning to speak to yourself with a little more kindness. Those are big and beautiful things! Trust us, you don’t need her body to have a good life. You don’t need her shape to be strong. Let her be her and give yourself permission to be you.
A Little Reminder From Us to You
If there’s one thing we hope you take away from this, it’s this: Please stop looking at your body as something that needs to be fixed before you can enjoy your life. You are allowed to feel good in your body now. You are allowed to move, stretch, strengthen, rest, nourish yourself, and take up space exactly as you are. You don’t need to wait until your stomach is flatter to wear the swimsuit. You don’t need to wait until your arms are more defined to feel strong. You don’t need to wait until the number on the scale changes to start treating yourself with kindness. Your body deserves that kindness today.
So the next time you catch yourself comparing your body to your neighbour’s, your friend’s, or the woman on your screen, take a breath. Remind yourself that you don’t know her full story, just as she doesn’t know yours. Bring your focus back to yourself. How are you feeling? Are you giving yourself enough rest? Are you finding ways to move that you enjoy? Are you nourishing yourself? Are you making time for the people and things that make life feel good?
The world will keep telling women what the perfect body should look like. Trends will change. Expectations will change. There will always be another ideal we’re told to chase, but we don’t have to chase it.
At Redlands Barre, we want to celebrate a different kind of fitness. One that is built on strength, self-care, confidence, and the freedom to show up as you are. One that reminds you that your body is not just something to look at. It’s the body that carries you through your days, lets you hug the people you love, helps you explore the world, and gives you the opportunity to live your life. You are absolutely worthy of care, movement, and kindness just as you are.
So here’s to becoming stronger, not because we hate our bodies, but because we love them. Here’s to moving because it makes us feel good, resting without guilt, and celebrating the things our bodies can do rather than criticizing the way they look. And here’s to remembering that you don’t have to look a certain way to be considered “fit.” Let’s stop chasing a version of fitness that leaves us feeling like we’re never enough, and start building one that helps us feel stronger, healthier, and more alive. The goal should never be about looking like somebody else. The goal should always be about feeling good in the life we’re living, in the body that’s carrying us through it.
